Today’s topic is motoring myths.

I have 14 days to tax my car.

No you do not. Any vehicle on a road has to be taxed at all times, even if it is only parked. The next tax disc should be bought before the current one runs out. There are two offences involved being (1) not having and (2) not displaying a current tax disc. The non display is frequently dealt with by a fixed penalty whereas not having a current disc may be dealt with by DVLA making you an offer to pay a civil penalty and the duty outstanding or you may be prosecuted.

I have 24 hours to report an accident.

Again the answer is no. Any reportable accident must be reported as soon as is reasonably practicable if you have not given your details at the time at the scene of the accident. This failure is usually prosecuted and carries a maximum fine of £5000, between 8-10 penalty points and possible disqualification. Note the minimum number of points that must be imposed is 8.

Excuses are rarely successful in these days of mobile phones. The fact that your local police station is shut does not prevent you contacting another. Waiting to speak to your spouse, parent, lawyer, vehicle owner etc is not a defence. Waiting till a more reasonable time to speak to the owner of the damaged property is also not a defence.

Refusing to name the driver means they can’t prosecute.

This was a favourite way of attempting to avoid prosecution for accidents and drink driving, particularly in the rural areas where there is only one policeman, but the loophole has been closed. In the first place this is one of the exceptions to the rule of Scots law requiring corroboration and only requires one witness to speak to the requirement and your failure. Secondly conviction carries the same penalty as if you had been convicted of the charge for which you were required to name the driver. Thus you may escape conviction for drunk driving but you will still be disqualified as if you had been convicted.

I am entitled to refuse to give a breath sample.

This is the last thing you should even consider doing. The law is very strong on this. It is not a defence to this charge even if you had not been driving! Note too that by conditionally accepting to provide a sample, ie by demanding to speak to your lawyer first, is itself a refusal. In short if you are required to provide a breath sample do so and argue the merits later.

You cannot breathalyse me, I have stopped driving.

Again no. The legislation was amended to include has been driving, attempting to drive or been in charge of a vehicle. There is no time limit on when you may be required to give a breath sample after you ceased driving etc.

The car is parked. I don't need to tax or insure it.

If it is on a road you are "using" the vehicle even if it is parked and you have not driven, and have no intention of driving, it for some time. You must still tax and insure it or get it completely off the road.

I am not driving, the engine is not even running

"Driving" has a wide legal definition and basically if you are controlling the vehicle’s movement, you are driving. Accordingly, you are driving the car being towed or where you are pushing it while steering it through the window.

Finally, a story that amuses me. A large American international company, acting politically correctly and with positive discrimination, employs a tribe of cannibals, who are normally discriminated against for their beliefs. They do not eat in the company canteen, which is appreciated by all the others. Everything goes well and there are no complaints for six weeks.

In the seventh week, they are approached and asked if they know of the whereabouts of a secretary, who has not been seen all morning. One admits to having eaten her, whereupon he is roundly condemned by his chief in the following terms, viz.

"What do you think you were doing? You know what we agreed. For six weeks we have been eating managers and no-one noticed. Eat one secretary and it is noticed immediately!"